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Gallente
Tarantula LLC
The Ancients.
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Posted - 2009.09.09 20:58:00 -
[1]
Tarantula LLC's Awe-Inspiringly Retarded Phinancials
A lottery to bailout Eve Bank.
So everyone knows what a numpty Ricdic was single-handedly tanking Eve Bank by stealing more than half a trillion isk. For you nubs that's 2,000,000 Rifters. For you non-nubs that's 333 Rorquals give or take.
Now, I know what you are asking. Who the hell is this guy and why should I give him any money? This could be a scam, you know, like banks in Eve Online.
Well I can assure you with 100% certainty that this IS a scam. But to allay your fears I will explain how it works.
1)You give me 2M isk.
2)That buys you a lottery ticket.
3)There is no limit on lottery tickets that an individual may hold.
4)There are 1,000,000 lottery tickets to be had.
5)That's right, I am trying to raise 2T isk.
Here is my plan. I collect your money, I put it in a single wallet and I do not touch it at all until it is time to pay out. What would keep me from ripping you off you ask? Nothing. I could rip you off at any time. If you are not doing it for the lulz like I am, you probably shouldn't buy a ticket. I will however promise you that I will pay out, I will not rip you off. I am staking my entire reputation on this lottery. If I screw you then people will know and I won't be able to get investment in the future. I believe that with trust I can get billions of isk over time, so it's not worth it to rip you off. In short I do not intend to kill the goose that lays the golden egg. The value of being the man who gave away 1.8T isk is worth more to me than 1.8T isk. I will be satisfied with 200B isk.
When does payout occur? When I sell all 1,000,000 tickets, or October 9, 2009. That's 09.10.09 for those of you on the wrong side of the Atlantic who write dates incorrectly. It's 10.9.09 for everyone else.
What do I win? You win nothing less than half of the take, minus my 10% graft fee, the remainder going to Eve Bank. That's the explanation for the innumerate, now for the explanation for the illiterate. 900B û Eve Bank, 900B û The Winner, 200B û Me. Yes, I intend to make a profit off of this. Why would I run a scam otherwise?
How is the lottery adjudicated? Your name will go into a spreadsheet along with the weight of your ticket purchases which will be parsed by a program that will be set to randomize with the input of an integer that will then choose one of the winning tickets. The output will be 1/1,000,000 if the serial number of one of the tickets that you own is output you win 900B.
If I am not able to raise 2T isk within the time-frame there is an expiration date as mentioned above at which point I will run the lottery and you will win 45% of however many tickets I actually sold. The same rules apply, 45% goes to Eve Bank, 10% goes to me.
I am not affiliated with Eve Bank in any way, I did not consult them for this and I do not know how they will feel about this. Regardless I will attempt to make a payout.
How do you collect? I will send you a message with the amount you have won. You will go buy something cool on the market and create a public item exchange in Dodixie for that something cool and set the price at the exact amount of your winnings, or less if you prefer, I will happily take on the burden of keeping any money you do not wish to take possession of. This is also how Eve Bank will collect. Remember something cool, a faction mod or a T2 ship will do. I fly Gallente. Remember, don't be cheap if you are taking possession of 900B isk you should give a gift as though you are royalty bestowing favors. However, even if you choose to give me something not fit for royalty, I still like Gistii B-Type Afterburners and such, and I will still payout.
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